Monday, November 20, 2017


I had a dream night before last. I got so fed up with the way Granny was acting, I just started speaking to Satan and casting him out in Jesus' name. It seemed to work and she felt better afterwards. Then, out of the blue, I was on sort of like a field trip or something and Nicole Kidman and I teamed up walking around. We walked by some waterway... like a river walk type thing... then toured a house and even walked upstairs then down. Then we were in a car. She was driving and I was in the passenger side. I asked her about past relationships and she was kind of vague but said something like "He just didn't like (this and that) about me. If you don't really love someone then you're not loving their heart either." She made a motion to her heart. Strange. She may have said she had a good heart. I can't remember. She mentioned my old company name and I was so impressed. She said she'd looked me up beforehand and smiled.

So I got moved up to a good spot in the Arbors at Canton! Christmas came early... again.

I'll be making/taking fresh cranberry and marshmallow salad to Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm ready to break down and paint some traditional "farmhouse white" furniture and let it go. Hell. And... I'm starting a line of hand-painted pillow slip covers...

Wednesday, November 15, 2017


Eating my golden-yellow toasted cornbread with apricot preserves.... I'm counting up all of Clifford's mug shots in his bright orange jumpsuit. Randy always said I was low maintenance and that it didn't take much to entertain me. He was right. Christmas came early this year as I just found out Clifford was arrested (again) just 2 months ago. I've had an absolute ball going through, with pen and paper, putting dates to all of his mugshot photos.

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, November 14, 2017


Finally.... feeling back to the old creative me. The last few years have been gut-wrenching. Lots of bad decisions (for all the many reasons) being the main culprit. The last few months have been great catching up with family... but I enjoyed my 10-year stint of solitude also.
#It Feels Good To Be Me

Saturday, November 11, 2017


So Granny is out of the hospital again after 11 days of being in there acting like some form of Sybil... probably throwing her cutlery and crazy mess like that. It's always open season on any warm body that gets within 15 feet of her. I pray for the people who've had to endure it all. She's back to her plush nursing home where she can gripe about the breading on the chicken, lose more clothing because no one picked up her laundry or sewed her name into her existing pieces. Everything disappears one by one by one by one. Rita will probably have to make a trip to her house to get whole new sets of clothes and underwear for her. I'm keeping the gown she left here at my house. I like the cut of the neckline on it and it's ripped a little bit on one side so I'm keeping it. I deserve something for my troubles. I nearly lost my mind.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017


We finally lost Freckles. Little part blue heeler... probably 20-22 years old. Ancient for a dog. We took her to the vet yesterday and thought maybe she just had hip pain that kept her from getting around well and took her appetite away from time to time. She got a shot of pain meds that helped her a lot and she ate big.... but I guess it had worn off by the next morning when it was time for her pain pill. She went downhill fast and wimpered a little last night... kept going outside and died pretty soon after. This is that down-hill run with all of our old, old, old, old, old animals. We'll make it through. But I believe in so much good now concerning animals. I believe God spoke through Shawn Bolz about having the little girl's "Fluff Fluff" hampster in heaven with him and loving on him. A whole atheist family saved through hearing about where Fluff Fluff was... who had just died that day or the day before. The dad had told the little girl something like Fluff Fluff wasn't going to heaven there was no heaven/God, etc.

I loved Sherri's dream about her dad. I had one the other night about my dad. I actually had 2... and may have been on different nights. The first one I was walking down to my aunt's house back in old Chisholm where I used to live. It was dark outside and I picked up something that was a flashlight type thing. Then here comes a car that slowed down and the man driving tried to talk to me some. The interior light was on and he got out and kept asking if I recognized him. I really didn't but thought maybe I did remotely... but had to get on to my aunt's house which was what was on my mind. He just kept smiling at me saying "Do you know who I am?" When I said... Yes, I kind of remember you from TV or something... He would say "MmmmHmmm..." like he knew something I didn't but was willing to let it remain that way.  I thought later that that was probably Gus. Afraid to let me fully recognize him. And I believe he could do that if he wanted. When he died, I was in his room and picked up a tiny flashlight that I keep here. The man in the dream was older with white hair.

The second dream... strange. I was dropping off his body to be embalmed at some jake-leg place. I walked in to pick him back up and I walked in to a small not well-lit place... just like his apartment was. When someone showed me into a room, I realized I was in line at his "viewing". I panicked because I wasn't ready or made up to go to a funeral. But here I was in line. I got up to him and he finally lifted his hand and shook mine. Never opened his eyes... The other arm and leg went out to the side... like he was trying to be funny about not really being dead. I remember telling the staff that he wasn't dead. They thought it was strange and said but he's already been embalmed... There was an understanding that the embalming agent does the killing... and now it had been done and couldn't be taken out of him. I woke up in a panic. Not sure if this was Daddy's doing on this dream. I love some of the Saturday Night Live skits... so if he's seen that about me around here and tried to turn his whole death into a SNL skit for me.... it didn't work. Lol. But an "A" for effort if so.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017


I've sold 5 originals each month of the Canton show. It's actually pretty good while getting to build a future clientele at the same time. Lots more smaller canvas in the future. Wished I'd even had more of those at Round Top. I'm starting to love smalls because with Granny finally off the plate... I had more time to be calm and get back to normal and just paint. It was nice. Everything is painting to me. Typing here; mowing the yard (painting the yard); I even have some things I'm "painting over". Didn't like they way they turned out in life and/or on canvas. We "do again".... paint over it. Let it dry first.

Saturday, November 4, 2017


I sold the 36" X 48" white fallow painting today. I had been looking on the internet for photos of a baby fawn... but when I saw the antlers of this fallow I knew I had to paint him/her. I loooove animals... but never thought I'd be painting wildlife like wilder animals...antlered animals. I've just always had cats and dogs. Then we moved here and inherited the llama and goats..... field rats, mice, ground moles, frogs, birds, hummingbirds, tree asps, snakes, possums, a road-runner who likes to get on top of the house, skunks, ..... what else?  Rabbits. A couple of extra cats.

I've sold church paintings and actually a couple of snowmen paintings.... so I'll have to paint him again since I've taken the money to duplicate him. I applied and was accepted into my first juried art show. It's not until next year but looking forward to it. I'll have to get a white pop-up tent.

Friday, November 3, 2017


I'm having to give it up and realize I've got to have a better spot to keep doing Canton. But... you can't get that until after the first of the year so actually things are right on schedule. I'll see my way through this year where I am then hopefully move on up to the east side.

So the doctor talks with Granny and she wants to be resuscitated even though it means her heart has quit beating; they'll have to shock and pound her heart so hard it usually breaks a rib; a tube will have to be inserted and she'll realistically never come off the tube if it all goes down this way. And Granny says "Yes, resuscitate me!". 

What else? I feel sorry for her... but I've done my 3-day Shawshank time. Those were like dog years and I'm done. 

Thursday, November 2, 2017


If the instruction now is "less of me and more of Thee"... that's true for family related things also. Time to pull it waaaaaaay in. I hope any information I've given will turn out to be helpful... but it's time to move on and press in. Always in my prayers.

Canton is fun this month! The glass is beautiful and we've already seen a lot of our old customers from 15 years ago who even remember my company name back then. Always a good connection with some of the surrounding vendors. I have missed Canton after all these years.

Friday, October 27, 2017


It's nearly time for Canton and waited too long to get started on the glass painting.... The drive to Louisiana was very nice. Amazing how just a few hours away and things look so different... trees.... land. Stopped at a Cracker Barrel on the way back for lunch and I swear even the food is better in Louisiana. Just comparing Cracker Barrels in Louisiana to Texas.

Granny is back in the hospital. After just 2 days at home in her own home.... she's back in the hospital. No one really knows how to handle her. Rita is really the last one left to deal with her needs that come up. Very hard on her because Granny is mad at her too now all the time. I think it's a shame how things have turned out after 10 years of no communication... then communication... now this.     I hate to say it... but this is how my family is. Very detached with no real legitimate reason. At least when I don't want to see someone any longer, I have more than a good reason or two or three.

I'll live a quiet little life right here at Tara. I like to think of it as little house on the prairie now. It gets harder and harder to surround yourself with love. If you find a little place like this one, you have to do all you can to keep it. It really is priceless. It's gets right down to the animals who just love you no matter what. I don't have to protect myself from them. It's sad when you feel you have to self-protect around someone all the time. I'd rather be misunderstood by my animals. Some of them don't like to be picked up and kissed on. I do it anyway because they need it. I hope they understand.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017


I've given words of knowledge before and knew it only afterwards... but I've just found someone who does it all the time and has traveled the world doing it with his ministry and says that it's in scripture where we are to desire to do these things and seek out these gifts and hone them. He is going to be a complete game-changer for me and an answered prayer also.

"Eye of God" Untouched photo from space. I remember Akiane saying his eyes were like moving rushing waters and had a ring of fire around them. In the center of his eye, you see your own reflection as if you're the only one. She says her first Jesus painting that she became so famous for was stolen. She never got over it... and finally painted Jesus again almost by accident. One thing led to another.

Saturday, October 21, 2017


We've pretty much put our prayers onto Rita. She is the last of the last to take care of Granny. Rita is the only one who is around her now but that is fading. Very hard to take the abuse from Granny. So we pray she can know what to do at each hour each day. Know when to pull the rip cord, pull the  trigger... whatever it is that needs to be done. We check in with her often and really feel for her.

Granny.... is 3 sheets in the wind now. Everyone is robbing her.... taking her poems for their own book.... bound to write checks off of her checkbook that's in her purse.... or gonna steal uncooked oatmeal from her house that probably has weevils in it by now. I don't know. This is beyond comprehension anymore.  "Jesus take the wheel". That's what a girl told me once on facebook when I said I'd much rather call the volunteer fire department in the next town over instead of using this Wills Point bunch who goes "on strike" when they don't like something. Whoever heard of such a thing. I have the right to dial whoever I want if there's an emergency around here. I'll gladly wait the extra 20-30 minutes for Edgewood. That's not really a 'Jesus take the wheel' matter.... but now Granny is.

Thursday, October 19, 2017


When you know that you know that you know.... it's all good. Mammer and Stinker and the gang will all be in my mansion. So will plenty of polka dots.

Since Granny only lasted 3 days here and just one night in the apartment... the apartment is back again empty. So I decided to turn it into my new glassware painting station. Just about everything is moved over there now. Very excited to paint in front of the window. The last time I painted the glassware was way back before I got sick. Canton was booming. In the gift season, I sold $25k-$35k in glassware in a 4-day show. I'd like to get back into the glassware again and do the junior league shows. Today was the first day in 15 or 20 years that I sat down and painted the glass. A ton of snowlady dessert plates! Setting my sites high again. Like Josiah says.... "picture it done".

Sunday, October 15, 2017


I've pretty much finished the 36 x 40 elk painting. I guess it's an elk.... and hope that's the same thing as a buck.  Been gathering up glassware like crazy for Canton. Paints ordered and ready to paint, paint, paint. Still need to head to Louisiana for domed cake plates, platters, dessert plates and pitchers... plus more stemware. I can find a lot at Wal-Mart (Libby).... but not near enough.

They told me Granny said the ambulance driver was asking about me the day they took her out of here. Doubt if I'll go up to the ambulance station to see what all that was about... but it's nice to think someone was possibly interested in me. I looked up Charles Bronson and honestly... he's hard to look at in lots of the photos. Not easy on the eyes at all. But then again, that's never what I liked about him although he did have a great body. I just love the way he took care of Jill when she was sick and really loved her... then took care of her again before she died.

I was out the other day and a guy came up and flirted a bit. I guess he could have passed for some version of Bronson. He put his hand on my side... kind of slightly up above my waist line. It caught me off guard. I keep wondering "Would Charles Bronson have done that?" I don't know. Not that big a deal. And honestly... how much conversation can you have with a stranger when you're with a group of women? I want what I want... but not above all anymore. Being very careful this time around. Good only, please.