Wednesday, July 19, 2017


New baby on board! His siblings did not make it. Died in the nest and covered with maggots. My baby was covered in millions of mites and looking mighty poorly after jumping from the mud nest. We dug the other babies out and buried them. The lone survivor is doing good. A little more alert each time I feed/water him. Now he chirps when he hears me walk into the room. He's pooped once. Are these the good years? Lol. I should say they are It's touch and go for a while... and I hope my baby makes it to enjoy a good life of natural everyday things. The need is the call.

Sunday, July 16, 2017


2 more chapter to go... chapter review of tons of questions/answers to find your weak spots.  Then... big test and hopefully pass on the first try to become a licensed real estate agent in Texas. I'm very proud and it's been nice learning something new. I'm looking forward to new adventures.

So Pat laid it out there and thinks  I would do well at a remote gathering she found.  Must be able to use your gift - check. Must NOT speak traditional "Christianese" - double check. Must be wanting to be flung into hell and determined to survive and thrive. - check and double check check. I do want to do this. It's on my mind daily to some small degree. Of course I don't feel qualified which will probably qualify me in this field. Humble. I want a fully committed heart first. I'd also want a confirmation from the Lord.

Friday, July 14, 2017


None of that for me, thank you. I've spent my life helping and caring for people and animals. Very compassionate. I'd never dream of wanting to run around with someone and let them entertain me... pay for my lunches most of the time; show up at their house to eat home-cooked meals whilst having such a low opinion of them that rolls off the tongue with little prodding. But you'd be surprised. I've learned to wise up big time at this point in my life. If it means sitting it out... indefinitely.... then that's what it means. When there's not a good move to make, you don't make one. Go with those gut feelings. One of the most important things I've learned is that when people show you and actually tell you who they are... believe them. I couldn't imagine sitting beside someone and making fun of them so badly as a way to get them out of your life and being so tickled and proud of it in front of your favorite child that you gripe about having to support all the time. But you'd be surprised. I got tired of being surprised.

Yesterday was a day of trimming a section of hedges that nearly took me out. Full sun and a lot of suffering... but the results were amazing and inspiring to keep it going. One of the larger bird couples around here had the perfect nest until a branch broke and fell out. Then her nest was left almost sideways and in full sun. The eggs were getting too hot and she was trying to make an umbrella with her wing while nearly burning up alive herself. We had a piece of brown netting from the craft store and made a hammock; tied both ends to the biggest branch and cinched it up. It was a good day.

Thursday, July 13, 2017


3 more to go.

Ray Ray is feeling like his old little kitten self again. So much energy and always extra alert. Yesterday morning at feeding time, he saw a huge field rat... nabbed him up and ran into the cattery with him. A real hunter. I've seen him catch snakes (in years past) and they'd be curling all up around his head and trying to get away. He'd get under the house or deck. Somewhere where you couldn't get to him and eat his prey. He learned.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017


Well I've failed the chapter 14 test twice by one question each time. Not for it not being "right" but just not the best of the right answers available although they were all really right. Not quite right enough is the new "wrong". Almost ready to eat a bullet here. And I tell you, I could care less what the King thought about dispersing land to the few lucky or how he took the land back or never gave it in the first place... all one big farce.

In my mind I think about how much I hate wrapped white canvas now and how blinding it is and I just need to get away from it. I think about the 2 wooden rounds I painted from that rotted down coffee table so many months back now. I want to paint on the wood again. I kind of paint on it in my mind. Found a youtube on how to make the box lid type things. I can actually do my painting first and frame it up later. Sounds good to me.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017


Chapter 13 is finished per yesterday. Hopefully have another good report tonight concerning chapter 14.  We found an alternative office location we'd like to check out given it's the same company we'd hoped for.  Different location. Little by little I can see it all coming together.

Monday, July 10, 2017


profoundly immoral and malevolent.

If you ever get the instruction and feeling that someone or some "thing" in your life is evil and needs to be let go or permanently removed immediately... don't use your own judgment or knowledge of what you think the word evil means. Evil can be more simple than you think. Don't discredit it. Don't second-guess it. Don't think it has to look and act like Medusa. 

Sunday, July 9, 2017


So today was a day of finding out just what that new fast food place was that went in recently beside Taco Bueno in Terrell. It's Freddy's!!!  Can't wait to go back. I have NEVER HAD a steak burger before. No line when we walked in.. but by the time our food was ready, the line was wrapped outside the building and around. Sundays.

For weeks I had wanted to drive/walk around the cemetery in Terrell. The fences literally draw you in. They are rod iron and have the names of families who have evidently donated to the cemetery and/or have family buried there. HUGE monuments in there with monstrous crape myrtle trees to go with it all in the "1800's" original section. Such a treat to be in there. One monument stood out to me so much. A very small one in the shape of an open ribbed seashell with a baby laying inside. "Gone too soon...". That, with the stop at Freddy's and the 20% off of cat litter at Big Lots... who could want for more.

Thursday, July 6, 2017


So mother and I were talking today about the people we've had here for dinner and the people we've tried to invite and get here... only to have them cancel out at the last minute. We've cooked, entertained and tried to entertain and show people a good time. I've bought pots and pans to cook for people only to have that blow up in my face. In these past few weeks... we've decided to cease from all things that are not working or haven't worked in the past. Just stop. Stop. Invest in yourself for a change. Have and give the best to yourself. Don't give the best of yourself to people who don't care; who aren't truly friends and find it real entertaining to sit and make fun of you. Those are the people you don't want to give your best or "best years" to. Don't do it. Stop. Regroup... and begin again.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017


5 more to go...

I'd like to say I'm so excited.... but mostly just tired. Lots and lots of reading and learning. Plus.... mowing all this yard... filling jewelry orders.... making new earrings to introduce.... basing in some canvases for canvas art. What else? 

It's nice to walk into a dinner of Swedish meatballs in sour cream gravy. Fresh salad with little tomatoes and chunks of blue cheese with buttermilk ranch dressing, steamed mixed vegetables and rice.

Little Ray Ray is doing good. I'll be taking my cats to Allen from now on. I really feel Dr. Casey let Cookie die due to simply not treating his symptoms which were the same as the other upper respiratory problematic cats we've had around here. He couldn't breathe. Because you feel a little lump in his stomach shouldn't mean he doesn't get treated for not being able to breathe. Cookie was sent home with no antibiotics for his upper respiratory problem which was so bad it interfered with his being able to eat. Winkie had the same thing and he lost a ton of weight from it. If I'd felt there was time to get Coo and eventually killed him from his lungs filling up with crap until he died. If I could have made it to Allen with him, I would have done it. When I asked him if some antibiotics would help Cookie just like it did Winkie, he just looked at me and said "No!.  It's the cancer". Please. I like my animals to be officially diagnosed with something first and still... please treat the symptoms at hand.

Monday, July 3, 2017


So I passed my test in 2 tries for getting one answer wrong. The only one out of the 17 that I was "sure of" and didn't look it up to check. Then... mother had her test. We ran through those chapters up and down and backwards and forwards looking for the answer to a couple or three of the questions. Couldn't find it. So I finally had a couple glasses of wine and pulled the trigger & low and behold.... she passed. So today... thank the Lord.... Chapter 12 is a shorter one that we'll have to read / be tested on.

I think I've read enough and finally found what happened to my little Stinker. The quick progression of it and the symptoms seem to match and even one of the causes. Mother was right when she got the feeling we were losing him and that he was dying. The vet was right when she said his body was shutting down and dying on its own in front of us. But no one knew why.

Friday, June 30, 2017


So mother has been reading and supposedly we're supposed to be in the "double jubilee" time period. I thought about it and it's true that the mud martins in the garage used to have just a few nests when we moved here... maybe one or two.  Now, after nearly 5 years.... they have soooooo many.  I walked into the garage the other day and it was completely silent. I looked up and about 35 birds were swirling around the top of the ceiling. All the babies are learning to fly and out of the nest. It's a double-jubilee year for the martins for sure. Then... we sat outside trying to swat the multitude of flies that have gotten too smart to be killed. The neon green fly swatters have been entered into their program system and it's so hard to kill them anymore. Then I noticed a spot on the concrete where about 20 of them were congregated on something. I swatted down and killed at least 15.  After that, I bet we killed 45 more. It was a fly jubilee. The next morning, we saw no dead flies anywhere. I think the frogs family in the flower bed came out to eat them. You can only hear them when you turn on the sprinkler to water the plants. They're so happy they can't keep quiet. A frog jubilee. I fed the cats the other evening and when I went across the corner to go into Lauren's area to feed her, she flipped onto her back and started trying to balance straight on the backbone of her back... back legs straight out. Just balancing. I haven't seen her do that in at least two years. It was a Lauren jubilee.

Thursday, June 29, 2017


What'd you do last night? Oooooh, not much. Just ran Ray Ray up to Allen's on an emergency call due to his urinary tract being blocked. Got home late. Ray has his catheter in now and is at least comfortable. I've always found the sacrifice for my animals to be more than worth while. It beats having vulture people in your life and mistaking them as friends. If you think Pat is such an albatross around my neck, then at least do her the courtesy of not bellying up to her extensive home-cooked meals of briskets and smoked ribs on the grill with all the home-made sides to go with it. Damn-nation. If you don't have a high opinion of someone, then at least don't show up at their house and act like a friend and take advantage of all the fringe benefits. The value of a person is not in their youth (which is always relative) or their ability to make money or your ability (or non-ability) to control them to get what you want. Their value is not in what they can do for you. We've done plenty around here for other people. "And now"... we're doing for ourselves with a quiet place to work on it for a change.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017


The chapters are getting longer but are also going back over some already covered materials.

Sunday, June 25, 2017


Everything on my heart answered in one Word. Remarkable.

Better Is Just Ahead

Ever consider that David was not God’s first choice for King? Saul was the first one chosen. Regardless of what people say about Saul, he was sent by God to Samuel as an answer to the prayer of God’s people. YOU also are an answer to somebody’s prayer. David wasn’t the first choice – but he was the BEST choice.
God Has BetterIf you are serving under someone else, “whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as TO THE LORD, and not unto men.” (Col 3:22) work as if you were working for Jesus because the Lord see’s your effort and “you shall receive the reward of your inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”
David was a man after God’s heart and that is why he ended up in the role that Saul was originally given. He was a man after- in pursuit of – God’s heart. Your ROLE changes but your PURPOSE doesn’t. If your passion is God’s presence and you stay focused on fulfilling your present assignment, you will discover that what you are doing now is actually preparing you for what your NEXT ROLE is going to be.
Esther was not the Kings first choice – she ended up replacing Queen Vashti.
You may feel like you are running LAST but the last are often FIRST before the story is over. The “first born” in the family were the ones with the Birthright and the Inheritance. However….
Isaac was second to Ishmael.
Jacob was second to Esau.
Joseph was 11th out of 12 and anything but the first choice of his brothers.
Moses was not the people’s choice for a deliverer – they drove him into a desert.
Jeremiah was not Israel’s first choice for a Prophet, but he was Gods.
Peter and the rest of the disciples in Galilee were not the local Rabbi’s first choice. All young men went to Hebrew school, but by 13 were either encouraged to continue with the Rabbi and be further trained or were told to “go learn the trade of your father.” When Jesus saw Peter, James, Andrew and John they were doing like the Rabbi said – working in their fathers fishing business.
NOW the CRAZIEST of all overlooks in history….Jesus of Nazareth was overlooked by the local Rabbi as a qualified recruit for the ministry.
Stay faithful to your present call, stay passionate about His presence and stay OPEN to the providential ways that God opens doors because YOU are an answer to someone’s prayer and your gifts are a solution to someone’s problem. Be an expert problem solver and you accelerate your positioning…it’s just a mater of time. Remember, Disappointment Is God Saying “Better Is Just Ahead

Saturday, June 24, 2017


The goal now is to complete 2 chapters per day. This will leave 9 more chapters to go from this point. Despite having to try and learn so much so quickly... it's exciting to be doing and learning something new. Mother and I sit here and read and read and read and help each other on the end tests to each chapter. We've finally cut out the people in life who held us back or didn't hold us in high esteem when we thought they actually did. Well... that would be more her than me. But still.... it's nice to cut all cords and drift on in the right direction free from all of these burdensome things. So much stress in life is completely self-induced.  I'll gladly take on the burden of someone looking for a house or looking to sell one. Relationships with people cover a whole lot of "types" of relationships. Sometimes... you just can't even be friends or even have contact with a person for that matter. My business mind will be going full force and my inner circle will be extremely few.

Thursday, June 22, 2017


It's finally began to get exciting. I hated to lose my little Stinker to diabetes complications... but my old Dodge truck is still full of his long white hairs and his cat tee-tee smell. Oh well. I don't think this is a suitable vehicle for performing real estate duties... but maybe I can start out farming for other realtors for a cut of the dough. This way I can show people what it really is to be a "behind the scenes" helper. Just me.... and the ghost of Stinker.... forging out into something new. Mother wants his ashes mixed in with hers. But I got news for her. Half will go into mine.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017


You know your area is busting out with growth when veterinarians clinics start popping up everywhere. Seems like there are more and more and more.

New designs in jewelry on the way! I do believe Texas is down. Hopefully not for the count. But everyone here is saying it's DOOOOOWN. Good thing we're all over the states. More now than ever. I told Dallas Market to take us off the call list. It's like haunted house ghost town over there. Vendors for years always had use of the flat bed dollies to take their merchandise up to and from a show on the 12th and 13th floor. One particular show they locked them up and said we couldn't use them anymore because the hired workers needed to get paid to help move people with their own equipment. Tons of locked up and locked away... throw away the key flat bed dollies just sitting there. I tore up a $150 pair of cork wedge shoes doodling our merchandise piece by piece up out of that mother. But.... Pat said one day they'll pay for that. And, by golly, I believe they have paid dearly in the end for ALL the crappy treatment of wonderful, loyal vendors.

Saturday, June 17, 2017


Chapter 5 down...

So Martin didn't get the taking care of and feeding I'd hoped for. He was out of the nest today and on a box lid. So we put him in a bird cage I was smart enough to keep over these years. He's of the age where I thought he'd be easy to feed. He was weak because I'm pretty sure I had him in the wrong nest which probably causes "problems". So I had to coax him to eat the first meal. But the second meal and beyond... he's very active and extremely vocal and loves to eat and lets me know when he's had enough. Today he had cherries added to his diet since we had bought some to snack on for ourselves.

I'm really looking forward to the real estate. It's hard sometimes to know exactly how your life will go. But I did have an interest before in real estate and even began studies for it. Mother won't have arrived in life and literally be able to heal unless she's in sales and all that comes with it which are the people. It's like a fish out of water... have to get in your element to thrive. I just want to know something else. I love the feeling of learning something new. I want to reach a better class of people. It's time to pull up from the nose dive that has been "East Texas" and all its glory.

Friday, June 16, 2017


Chapter 4.... down.

Nature is a huge part of everyday life around here. We chased Bubba Boo for a long time with a little bird in his mouth. Amazing he looked unharmed after being run all over the yard. So I put him back up in one of the many mud martin nests in the garage. So tall the ceilings are in there. So... I'm sure he's in the wrong nest but is still in there today which makes 5 total.

One of the longhorns dropped her baby yesterday. I was kind enough to cut her back end out of the photo. He's still wet here in the photo and couldn't really hold his head up.
The is a shot of the two huge buzzards who love to hang out around here. It clabbered up and came a good thick rain here. They immediately flew out to each high pole and had a good time bathing.  There are smaller birds who never like them around and you can see them also in mid air trying to run the buzzards off. 

Wednesday, June 14, 2017


It's interesting. All I had to do was become a $5-$10 wholesale jewelry company to be back in the chips. Lord.

But.... real estate it is. Forward ho. Chapter 3 down and passed. I don't know who formed the committee and the commissions and had this fancy mathematical way of dropping members on odd days and even days every other year and staggered out and on and on and on. Craziness. But... they must have had a mind like mine.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017


My art blog has turned into a real estate blog. That's how I am. One focus. You can learn a lot just from talking to other realtors and how they got started... where they went for leads... or how to work a certain area. Everything is so new to me, but when I decide to do something it's all in. Perfectionism takes over. Methodical ways and finding better ways to do something all the time. Perfecting it. Whatever I've set my mind and hands to do, I take pride in it. People over the years have noticed it and commented on it no matter what I'm doing. They say it's hard to find a person who really takes pride in something.

Monday, June 12, 2017


I'm so glad I have a mom who can save me $70 on a haircut. It's so cute and exactly what was needed. Just even 2 weeks ago, you could not have convinced me that I'd now be online studying for a real estate agent license. Later on I'll see what it takes to become a member of NAR and be officially called a "realtor". There are 17 chapters in all that will literally kick your ass. I've learned to roll with the punches instead of taking them straight on. Bob and weave. Go with the given answers of the quizes then make sure and DO take that final exam for each chapter the maximum amount of times which is 3. The more familiar the better when that big day gets here. I hope my reasoning is right. I've usually always made good and right choices in life so far. They say most of the the stuff you learn to pass the test.... you'll never use or even see again. Must be true because when my cousin got out of school and was trying to write her first sales contract, she had to call the broker to find out how to fill it in. Seems to make perfect sense.

Friday, June 9, 2017


In the end, it was worth it just to hear him say he'd made a mistake and messed up... that he didn't know what he had in me. The truth is, he's now in a past line that had already been formed up. But honestly, that was worth a lot. I believe everyone deserves a second chance... just not with me. With someone else. I do wish people the best. It was a good door-closing. Again, mother has never been wrong in saying "He'll regret that someday". I draw strength from it and take everything with me I've learned into the bright future. A long time ago Randy tried to tell me about love versus money. He'd use songs to try and explain.... like "Forever in Blue Jeans".

I've signed up for my real estate course and have already realized I'm in way over my head. It's a great feeling.

Thursday, June 8, 2017


It's on. I have my meeting at 2 pm... coming up.  I'm excited about this whole thing. I just need my real estate hair-do / haircut and I'll be ready. A few nice pieces of new wardrobe. Lots of studying & don't forget the brooch. South Beach is going good. I did have a glass of wine... but no bad carbs throughout the day and no snacking when not hungry. I picked up Stinker's ashes today. Very pretty.... everything in the bag was so thoughtful. His ashes are in a little box with a lock and key and his name on top engraved on a gold name plate. Very pretty. It makes you feel as if something was done right even at the end of all the wrongness.

Image result for brooch

Wednesday, June 7, 2017


So I finally decided it's not a job I need or another hobby/love turned job.  I need a career. So real estate it is. I'd love to be just an assistant to my mom and paint/sell my paintings on the side. This seems like the balance I've needed for so long. Something to get me out around people.  A lot more exposure which will be fulfilling. So tired of feeling isolated. Very excited about this new venture!

The latest here... South Beach Diet. Just bought these wonderful herbs that will be transplanted into a larger container. Sweet basil... thyme...

Tuesday, June 6, 2017


Thought this was cute... and unexpected. The owner grouped my items together for a picture to share!

Sunday, June 4, 2017


... the opposite of backwards. "Don't look back... we're not going that way."

I was inspired by Roxanne's floral painting and it made me see this painting in a whole new light. She saw it when I had it at Roundtop. I was surprised it didn't sell because people would stop and look. But it was that way with other pieces that did sell. Just not enough people there at that show. I was blessed to sell what I did. This painting before color was very blaugh. It was one of my first paintings for getting back into painting after 20 plus years.

Saturday, June 3, 2017


My morning anxiety is still completely gone and for that I'm forever grateful.

Mother wants to be cremated when she dies and have Stinker's ashes mixed with hers. Kind of cute. Case closed on that.

The flower study is complete and when I put the final touches on the new rooster painting, I'll begin a new floral. I love to spend time looking through the internet at fresh floral arrangements and saving the ones I like. Also working in a small MacKenzie style table this weekend.